Ollie discovers what not to do with chocolate at Christmas

Solo Expenses users Ollie and Lizzie Banks entertain both sets of grandparents for Christmas Day, but things start to go wrong when Ollie mixes his drinks. Thankfully, his father is able to retrieve the situation.

Closing one eye and with the tip of his tongue poking out, Ollie Banks took careful aim and tried to throw another chocolate into his sleeping father’s open mouth. It missed, as the rest of the box had, and was pounced on by Biffo the Basset Hound pup, who thought it was a great game. If this was Christmas, it should happen every day, he thought.

Ollie, up since six a.m. that Christmas morning with his excited daughter Alice, had drunk two decadent glasses of Champagne with a breakfast bacon roll in the middle of the morning and a can of lager when the grandparents all arrived, followed that up with a couple of glasses of a crisp white wine with his lunch, and then helped himself to a generous measure of port to help the cheese go down. It was a lot for someone who didn’t normally drink, and might have accounted not only for why he was struggling to get the last chocolate from the box, but also why he intended to throw it into his father’s mouth.

Alice was outside riding her Christmas-present bike, watched by her other three grandparents, all of whom were taking pictures of her with their phones. His wife Lizzie, now seven months pregnant, had been with them, enjoying the cooler air, but had now come back inside.

Lizzie returns
Ollie discovers what not to do with chocolate at Christmas-1
“Banks!” she yelled. “What ARE you doing?” The sudden outburst woke the sleeping Ron and made Ollie drop the chocolate. Biffo ran behind the sofa.

“Well, I was, er, just, sort of, er…” was all he could manage to say.

“You were throwing chocolates at Grandad.” Lizzie pushed on. “I saw you. Honestly; whatever made you think of such a thing? Where are they all?”

Ollie looked sheepishly at his father and the sofa and carpet surrounding where the older man sat. “Erm, not sure,” he said, feeling genuinely puzzled. None had hit their target, so they ought to be on his father or the floor, but he couldn’t see any at all.

Ron knew. Just as the rest of the family came back indoors he asked: “Where’s Biffo? I bet he’s eaten them.”

Biffo announced his presence with a series of strange noises from behind the sofa. “Ollie, he’s being sick! Do something!,” shouted Lizzie.

But it was too late. Thankfully both of Alice’s grandmas were swift to react, and as Ollie took Biffo outside and Ron moved the sofa away from the wall, they sprang into action with kitchen towels and disinfectant.

Ollie’s in bad books
Whilst order was being restored, Biffo had lain outside for a while, and was now doing the same thing in his basket. Ollie still felt that he was in the dog house, and helped Ron to ease the sofa back into its place. “Good job you missed son, I don’t much like chocolates; especially those strawberry creams,” said Ron, looking at him and winking. “Now then, shall we have a cup of tea and play a board game?”

Lizzie smiled at her father-in-law and said: “Good idea, Grandad, but not for Ollie. He’s having black coffee later.” Turning to her husband and raising her eyebrows she said: “He and Biffo both need a bit of fresh air, so they’re going for a nice walk first. Aren’t you, Banks..? It’ll be a chance for Alice to show you how well she can ride her bike. Are there any more of those expensive chocolates? I really fancy one with a hazelnut in it.”