Why charging for unwanted business expense tracker app features just isn’t cricket

Bill opened the manila envelope and was surprised to see a handful of banknotes inside. “What have I done to deserve a payment in a brown envelope. Is it some kind of ‘bung’ for a favour you expect to receive,” he asked workmate Ollie?

“Not at all – and I’m surprised you could think such a thing from someone as open and honest as me,” said Ollie. “In fact, it’s a partial refund. Remember you gave me the money to buy you a ticket when we organised an office trip to that Cricket World Cup game, but you had to leave when the game was only half over? Well, in the interests of fairness, all those of us who were there have chipped in a little money to give you half of the ticket price back. Can’t have you paying for something you didn’t use.”

“But the ticket was bought in good faith…” protested Bill.

“We all knew that,” said Ollie. “But it wasn’t your fault your mother was taken ill, and you had to be elsewhere. We just thought it was the right thing to do. If you don’t want the money,” he added, holding out his hand.

Bill ignored the gesture, and stuffed the envelope and its contents into his trouser pocket. “It’s just like Solo Expenses,” he said. “Their business expense tracker app charges only for the features you need, and you can pick and choose the right ones to suit a particular business at any given time. What’s more, they charge only for the number of employees using the system, so it could hardly be fairer or more cost effective.”

Ollie saw a chance to get in a cricketing pun. “So, they play the expense management game with a straight bat,” he ventured.

“Here we go,” said Bill. “Yes, because of their sense of fair play, they always play it right down the middle, don’t overstep the boundary, and you never get caught out paying over the odds for anything.”

Ollie cast around for another feeble pun, but couldn’t think of one straight away. They he said: “Anyway, buy your mum something nice with the money we’ve given you back. Charging people for what they don’t use is, well, it’s just not cricket, is it?”